Brokers: Wolfie! Well, you know, you plead guilty to a handful of securities violations, stock manipulation, high pressure sales tactics, ticky-tack sh*t like that, you know? Okay? It’s me being a hypocrite is what it is. Naomi Lapaglia: Open the f**king door! Was the traffic terrible? Jordan Belfort: It’s alright, baby. Donnie Azoff: Jordan? The cops took me in for questioning, but they couldn’t charge me. [as he tries to keep himself hard] [we see FBI Agent Patrick Denham arriving at work and continuing his investigation of Stratton, Jordan and the other brokers, we then see Jordan sat at his desk talking directly to the camera] Who’s dead? Donnie Azoff: Uncle Donnie’s here! Bo Dietl: Jordan, are you f**king high? f**k you! [Jordan puts down the phone and everyone in the office stares at him in silence] Mm-hmm. Jordan Belfort: Yeah. It’s that your car in the lot? Donnie Azoff: Let’s take, uh, let’s take two more each. [Nicole and Heidi walk over to them] Four hundred and f**king thirty thousand f**king dollars in one f**king month! [Jordan looks over to the teddy bear across the room] Jordan Belfort: Yeah, I’m sure. But I’m telling you, even that didn’t help. Believe it or not, though, the Mary Lou is actually the same as the Mary Jane but it’s black Leather. [to Naomi] Jordan Belfort: [voice over] f**k! Bo Dietl: I’m going to send someone over to pick you up. Jordan Belfort: No. Jordan Belfort: You don’t got sh*t on me, you hear me! [Jordan opens Donnie’s mouth and starts breathing air into his lungs, he then pumps Donnie’s chest again; we hear Naomi calling their bodyguard] Jordan Belfort: What? Heidi: We’d be happy to help. Brad: Exactly. Would you like to own a home like this, but can barely afford to pay your rent? Agent Patrick Denham: You’re going to jail. [back at the Jordan’s house Donnie continues his unintelligible conversation with Saurel] Donnie Azoff: Alright, alright, alright. Donnie Azoff: Aah! Give me the f**king bag. My friend Rudy, so I called Rudy… Jordan Belfort: F**k you! Mark Hanna: Stay with me. Agent Patrick Denham: There you go. Donnie Azoff: Yeah. Jordan Belfort: I said, I… Donnie Azoff: Or I’ll f**king cause a scene than I’ve ever caused in my life if you come at me again. Rocco #1: Look at this sh*t. Jordan Belfort: Baby, baby, baby. Heidi: We’d be happy to help. Jordan Belfort: And then there’s a big target and we, they get launched at the target, they stick. Jordan Belfort: Who? It’s, uh, you know, all these people dependent on me, tens of millions of dollars at stake. Oh, my God! [as Jordan, Max and Manny watch Skylar pony riding] Jordan Belfort: You don’t think I’m going to see my f**king kids again, huh? She was three months behind on her rent. [the knock their pills together before popping them; a little later we see them sitting on the couch watching “Family Matters” on TV] Boom, snap, gone. I told you, whatever the f**k you say to him, he’s going to use against you, don’t you understand?! Don’t try to fight it. Sea Otter: That is my name. Jordan Belfort: But, Dad, I don’t want you stressing out about any of this. Your friend, Steve Madden, is unloading shares! Dwayne: And I hope it happens. Audience Member #1: It’s, uh, it’s an amazing pen. [Nicky tries to pull Jordan off the Stewardess] Figured this would help expedite the whole process, right? SEC Attorney #2: Do you recall Carnage Cooperation? Stop that, sweetie. Donnie Azoff: I’m completely f**king with you, bro. [Jordan grabs the fish from Donnie’s plate and eats it] What the f**k is EJ Entertainment? Come for me, baby. Yeah. That I promise you, okay? Jean Jacques Saurel: Yeah. Donnie Azoff: I’ll tell you one thing, I’m never eating at Benihana again. [walking over to the two brokers break-dancing] Donnie Azoff: That’s a nice ride. 21:) “There was this one time I was selling pot to this Amish dude. What does an intern make in a deal like that? [Jordan goes into Skylar’s room and picks her up from her bed] Jordan Belfort: Did it? A place for mercenaries. [Donnie and Jordan take Steve to the front of the office and give him a microphone] What are you guys all shy for? Max Belfort: Get out of here! You’re not going to stop me! Jordan Belfort: Yeah. [Jordan stares at Donnie for a moment] It’s just stupid. It's a woozie. Aunt Emma? Jordan Belfort: No, but it f**king pi**es me off. But there are very few Swiss laws which apply to your, um, practices. Sit back, sir. [as each broker is being interrogated by the SEC attorneys] Donnie Azoff: Boring, right? Jordan Belfort: Pleasure to make your acquaintance. Donnie Azoff: Just f**king smoke crack with me, bro. Lucas Solomon: Grenada’s very interesting because it is a small island nation that was invaded by the United States of America in 1983, it has about ninety thousand people. [Jordan presents Naomi with a yellow diamond ring] Nicky Koskoff: I got five f**king grand on the phone right now! [as they are being drive to the bank] Captain Ted! What the f**k is in Switzerland? What’s going on? Nicholas the Butler: What are you saying? Naomi Lapaglia: Yeah, right. Violet: Is she alright? Jordan Belfort: He knows who Rudy is? Stratton Oakmont. Jordan Belfort: [voice over] At four p.m. [suddenly Jordan looks up as if he’s heard something, but there’s no one there] I think we should, I think we should get going. Naomi Lapaglia: Yeah! Max Belfort: Sides? I mean that! We’re going to Monaco. Agent Patrick Denham: FBl! Jordan Belfort: Get off the phone! You f**king a**hole! Jean Jacques Saurel: If the U.S. Justice Department sent us as subpoena, it would become, um, papier-toillette. In 1999, Belfort pleaded guilty to numerous crimes related to stock market manipulation and the running of a long-term scam involving penny stocks. Donnie Azoff: Uncle Donnie’s here! So I knew if I took my drugs right I could sleep through the entire flight. I’m really enjoying it. Aunt Emma: [voice over] Is he f**king hitting on me? Jordan Belfort: Jordan. Naomi Lapaglia: Come on. Within months we doubled in size, moved to even bigger offices. Jordan Belfort: [voice over] God, help me. Jordan Belfort: Jesus Christ! Donnie Azoff: With smart important people, unlike you. Jordan Belfort: Wait, wait. Mark Hanna: In this racket is this little baby right here, it’s called cocaine. Look at yourself, he’s trying to rattle you, he’s trying to rattle your old lady, and she nags you until you become a f**king witness. It’s alright, baby. [the officers arrest Jordan and put handcuffs on him] Donnie Azoff: No. Send. Jordan Belfort: Now, right now, John, the stock trades over the counter at ten cents a share. [the captain of the yacht walks onto the deck] What is going on? [Donnie and Jordan start making fun of her] Jordan Belfort: Oh. Naomi Lapaglia: Yeah. Jordan Belfort: There’s nobody holding you back from financial freedom. What the f**k?! Brad: It’s a joke? Agent Patrick Denham: Well, I, Jordan, I can’t discuss an ongoing investigation. Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Jonah Hill, Margot Robbie, Matthew McConaughey, Kyle Chandler, Rob Reiner, Jon Bernthal, Jon Favreau, Jean Dujardin, Joanna Lumley, You see, for a brief fleeting moment, I’d forgotten I was rich and I lived in a place where everything was for sale. [Brad waits in his for Donnie to arrive, Donnie arrives in his car, clearly high as the car swerve to a stop and he forgets to put the brakes on as he goes to get out] Donnie Azoff: We live in the same building. Jordan Belfort: That’s her in the house there. [she slaps him again] Mark Hanna: I f**king love that. My first day as a future Master of the Universe. Just the way you said it. Janet: Jordan! Stewardess #1: May I see your boarding passes, sir? Chester Ming: Yeah, we know who you are. Jordan Belfort: Safety is first, alright? [Donnie is sat behind his desk in his office looking freaked out, he decides to go to Jordan] Nicky Koskoff: Are you going to say anything about that? She brought in an decorator, Feng Shui’d the whole place, she even hired a gay butler. [she goes over to help Donnie] Agent Patrick Denham: Quit your b**ching. Lucas Solomon: Look at him, he’s got a sense. Why? You know, to keep pushing, to never hang up the phone until you get what you want, because you all deserve it. Jordan Belfort: So boring, I want to kill myself. Jordan Belfort: Hm. Nicky Koskoff: Watch it. Jordan Belfort: I don’t know what the f**k is going on. Jordan Belfort: [voice over] Of course after the bachelor party, me, the Duke needed a few penicillin shots so he could safely consummate the marriage.
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