Moving forward and accepting change is something we are faced with many times during our life. Some people do it with ease and others resist.
I was prompted to write this post after listening to a hangout yesterday and then later in the day having a conversation with my mother. I will come back to what they were about a bit later. First……
Accepting Change
Just like death and taxes change happens. Change can be something small but frustrating, like learning a new skill or getting a new computer and having to learn a new system. Or change can be huge and devastating, like losing a loved one or the loss of your health.
It is not what happens to us in life so much, but how we deal with it and how we move on that is important for our future.
Moving Forward
This is not always easy. If we have lost our job, divorced, lost our business or a loved one it may feel like we are unable to move forward. It may feel like our whole world has caved in.
For the big losses like a loved one we need time and we need to grieve but we must eventually move on.
We need somehow to pick our selves up.
Now back to the two events of yesterday that inspired this post…
Moving Forward and Accepting Change
No 1 – The Women’s’ Lounge Hangout – this is a Facebook Group that is a safe haven for women to share and inspire each other. The hangout I was on was one on this very topic change and moving forward.
The women shared their various strategies on how they accept change. I found the whole topic inspiring and was reflecting on the various events of my life where I have needed to pick myself up and move forward,
No 2 – The conversation with my mother – if you have been following my blog for a while you will know my dad passed away in April this year. This followed months of drama with both my parents who moved out of the home I grew up in and went into full time care just before Christmas 2012.
This is a photo taken last year with me and my parents on the front porch before my niece’s wedding.
There were many eventful months in that period until dad passed away. One being Mum (yes that is how we spell it in Australia) fell and broke her hip. She refused to work with the physios and consequently now walks with a walker and has no real interest in improving this situation.
I live on the east coast of Australia and my mum on the west coast. About New York to LA distance from each other so I do not see her much but I do call her frequently.
The conversations are very limiting as mum does nothing anymore other than Sudoku are read a bit. There are activities in the retirement village she is in but mostly she cannot be bothered going to them.
She has not moved on nor does she seem to want to. Granted she was married to my dad for 65 years and it must be terrible to lose someone you have spent so much of your life with. But she seems unable to find joy in anything, nor is she interested in trying.
I would never have thought my mother would end up like this and after I had talked to her my mind kept going back to earlier in the day and the hangout with the women. I wished my mother had learned some of the skills that were shared when she was younger.
The Women’s Lounge – tips
First of all here is the recording of this hangout if you are interested in checking it out – hangout. It will only be there until Sunday 8 PM EST 25th August , when next weeks will start . Just as an aside, if you are a woman and interested in knowing more about the group let me know. It is one where there are no links, marketing, self promotion – just support, inspiration and good stuff.
One of the women Jessica, shared a ritual she and her partner do each night just before bed.
- Gratitude – or give thanks for the things they are grateful for that day.
- Name the miracle of the day – something that changed your life forever. Sounds impossible? – she says not and that you can always find something and that you will start to attract more miracles because that is where your attention is going.
- Let the day go – it is gone – tomorrow is brand new – this one is gone.
What do you think? I loved this idea. I start my day with gratitude but I like this idea at the end of the day. I am certainly going to be looking for my miracle of the day.
In closing a very short message from Rocky ..
If you found this post on moving forward and accepting change valuable please share it. How about you, how do you handle change and do you have any tips on how to do that and how to move on?
Make it a great day.
Sue Price
Skype: sueprice
Click here to work with me personally
PS
FREE! The “Secret Formula” That Took Adam From Being Over $40,000 in Debt, to Traveling Around The World and Making
a 6-Figure Income From his Computer. You can get it at prosperity formula.
Dana says
Hi Sue,
Well this is a topic that I think many of us can relate to. I know I can.
In my experience, change happens whether we’re a willing participant or not. The pain comes from the amount of ‘suffering’ we place on things. And suffering is a result of how we define a given situation – which is why perspective is everything.
But I do know that this is easier said than done.
When we need things to be a certain way, we aren’t able to be flexible, and life throws challenges our way that we’re only able to define as a problem.
However, when we’re able to step back and observe, we see that if we’re evolving and expanding our awareness – which is a of lot what being a human has to offer – then it’s expected that our outer environment (reality) will have to shift to be a match to our inner-environment (state of mind).
Great topic.
And by the way – Rocky Balboa is one of my all time FAVORITE characters ever!
Sue Price says
Hi Dana
I love your statement that change happens whether we are willing to participate or not. So true! And yes perspective is so important.
It is easier said than done for most people.
Seeing something as a challenge or a problem is certainly at the core of how we will react to it and move through or on.
I agree as humans we are here to expand our awareness. As Esther Hicks says we came here for the contrast and then we resist it. Very interesting and complex I think.
Yes it is a great topic and I toll love Rocky Balboa. I just love that voice too. Interesting that character has lived on for so long. 🙂
Thanks for your great comment Dana.
Sue
Harleena Singh says
Hi Sue,
Wonderful post indeed 🙂
Change is constant, and whether we want it or not….things and people around us are bound to change. It only makes sense that we learn to accept that change and move forward in our lives.
I liked the idea of having such a lovely hangout that can only inspire you to get better, and yes, the thought does cross our mind or we tend to think as to why we didn’t have such hangouts earlier.
That’s a lovely picture of you with your parents, and sorry to hear about your Dad. I can so well relate to your mom feeling the way she does, as a few months back I’d written an in-depth post about elders and how lonely they can become and totally cutoff from the rest, especially when they aren’t keeping well or if they lose a loved one. Wouldn’t your mom like to come and stay with you, so that you can care for her? (I know it can become tough to convince them at times, but in-case she changes her mind) Besides the care, for which you can engage a caregiver or nurse if need be, it’s the companionship or your company and time she would like, and once they remain or keep busy, they really forget their worries and ailments.
I also liked the 3 things or rituals mentioned, and my grandma used to say something similar. She always said to hold hands and make up before you go to bed. And this one thing has been carrying on for generations in our family and it works wonders to resolve issues in a jiffy 🙂
Thanks for sharing. Have a nice week ahead 🙂
Sue Price says
Hi Harleena
Yes change is constant and while it does make sense to accept it so many people have a challenge with that.
It is wonderful to have these hangouts. I think for those of us that work from home it is so supportive. I also love that because our technology today we can connect with people all around the globe. I think that is awesome.
Thanks for your comment on the picture of me with my parents. Dad had a stroke some years back and then another one before he died. He was a great man and so sad to see him die as he did. But again I had to accept that.
I do not think my Mum would be prepared for the plane journey to be with us now. She never enjoyed it when she was fit and well. She if very frail and my brother and sister-in-law who live close to her do not like taking her to their home anymore as it is difficult for her to get in and out of the car. In Australia we have a system that categorizes the level of care an elderly person needs. Mum was categorized as high care, meaning she is in need of pretty much hospitalization. I did not say in the post but she also has a heart condition. After her fall and while they were performing surgery she had heart failure and was in intensive care for some time.
Having said all of that I always thought which ever parent was left would come and stay with us, but again I have to accept the reality.
Your grandma was clearly a wise woman. I agree we should always wake up before we go to sleep. It is great to hear it has carried on in your family as it is just a good thing to do and as you say get a quick resolution.
Thanks for your great comment Harleena and you too have a nice week.
Sue
Donna Merrill says
What a moving post Sue!
I always say if there is one thing in life we can count on it is Change! It can be proportionately large or even small. Truth is we all have that knee jerk reaction to stay in our comfort zone. And sometimes our comfort zone can be even a destructive one. I’ve seen that so many times.
But change is constant and it is so true that we need to accept that! I have come to peace with this a long time ago and now, even when changes are not to my liking, I embrace it and try to find the lesson in the grand design.
As for your mum, it must be difficult for you but please understand that she is living in her own world. All you need to do is accept that. I know, I have to deal with my mom too. I can see the wonderful opportunities at her disposal, but her choices are not to my liking. Letting go gives me peace. Acceptance of our differences brings me closer to her.
I just love what your friend Jessica does! Gratitude is a wonderful energy that brings good things to us. Acknowledging miracles enhances more!
I just gotta say that I enjoyed that clip. “Rocky” brings me back to my old neighborhood Italian roots lol!
-Donna
Sue Price says
Hi Donna
I agree we mostly like to stay in our comfort zones. I think you and I are two people who actually seek change in some things. I like you have moved many times. I do like to move but it is my choice and I do not embrace change so much when it is imposed on me. But I do manage to accept and move on.
I like your terminology of making peace with change. Finding the lesson does change it doesn’t it? I do that, ask myself why and what am I meant to learn here.
Yes I hear you with my mum and I know you understand totally given your situation with your mum. It is about accepting our differences. I have always been very different from my mum. Like chalk and cheese really when I think about it.
Yes the rituals Jessica shared are awesome. I loved the miracle one especially as that is a new one for me.
Oh yes dear Rocky. I too love it and I also loved that movie all those years back. But I see you have a different connection with it 🙂
Thanks for your comment Donna.
See you tomorrow.
Sue
Efoghor Joseph Ezie says
Sue, Sorry to hear about the pain your Mum is passing through. It is not easy to cope with the loss of someone so dear, especially one you have lived with for 65 years.
I lost my Dad when I was 19 years old and was getting to know him more. When he died, I suddenly realised that no amount of weeping or mourning could could bring him back to life again. I moved on with life by accepting that fact. I reconditioned my brain to accept the fact I was now fatherless and have to live with the situation because it was what I couldn’t change.
Your Mum needs to understand that change is the only thing that is constant. Death is one of the characteristics of living things, including humans. Sometimes some are lucky to have their loved ones stay around them for the best parts of their lives, but some are not as lucky.
She needs to find something that should give her some forms of happiness (though this may not be easy). In some cases, finding people with the same status could help out as they have a way of sharing their pains, coping mechanism, etc. I really pray God helps her find something to for again.
Sue Price says
Hi Efoghor,
Wow losing your Dad when you were so young must have been tough. You clearly moved through it well and could see it as it was which can be tough.
Yes death is a characteristic of life and yet so many of us resist and do not accept when someone goes. My Mum has always resisted change and of course this one is a big one. Even living in the same house for so long is a huge change for her now.
I agree with you that Mum needs to find something to give her happiness but she is not trying. She does have some friends in the same retirement village and she will not even make an effort to spend time with them. One woman lived one street away from us when I was a kid. Mum and Dad were friends with her and her husband. Both she and Mum lost their husbands about 6 months apart so it would seem natural they should spend time together. The other woman reaches out to Mum but she resists. I am not sure why but maybe in that case she does not want to remember the past. I am guessing really 🙂
Thanks Efoghor for sharing here. I really appreciate it.
Have a great day.
Sue
Sylviane Nuccio says
Hi Sue,
First off, thank you for the recording of the hangout, I will listen to that.
As you were talking about the lack of interest in things with your mum, I was thinking about mine and also often think and wish she had had that kind of opportunities when she was younger.
My mom had lost interest in a lot of things a long time ago. I think that this along with a rather negative view on life led to her mental disease. So, it’s very important to check ourselves up and move on, because dying is sweet compared to losing your mind to a mental disease. It’s probably the worse end one can have.
I know you went through a lot these past few months, but I’m sure you will totally get over all that with the support and knowledge that you’re getting.
Thank you for sharing these great insights with us.
Sue Price says
Hi Sylviane
If you like the hangout and women let me know if you are interested in joining the group. I think you would love it. It was started by women in Empower Network but is open to all. As I mentioned there are no links or talking about biz opps in there. It is just uplifting. I think you could get some people who would love your work and even though you cannot post blog links you can post snippets and it could lead to something. Let me know if you want an invite.
I know you understand because of where your Mom is at. It is interesting as you just shared how she let you and your brother follow your dreams and it is sad to know she did not have that opportunity. I am guessing she had dreams in her heart that were suppressed.
Yes the last year for me has not been the best. Started with my dog and then parents. But that is all part of life and yes I am moving on.
Hope you are having a good week. Given you were up so early today I am guessing you are very busy.
Sue
Gladys says
Hello Ms. Sue
Thank you for sharing this wonderful article. Like so many have said, Change is constant and inevitable. Yes and many resist what they have no power to.
But like you Ms. Sue, there were many changes when my mom started having strokes and my dad, heart disease. They lived in Miami, Florida and I am in North Carolina. It was difficult for me, as it is for you, but one thing I counted on was PEACE. I intentionally made declarations of peace in my heart and mind and to be honest with you, I could actually feel the peace through this time of my life.
Now both of my parents are gone, but I know I can count on Peace to harness my heart and mind.
Your picture looks beautiful… such wonderful memories you have with your parents.
I totally agree with Harleena, regarding your mom to live with you, but again it’s her choice.
The first thing I do every morning is I say “Thank you God for this Day and for the things you have for me today” It is an attitude of gratefulness.
I love love love Rocky. Awesome inspiration.
I will go and listen to the hangout….. We all need inspiration.
Thank you again Ms. Sue for sharing your heart with us.
Gladys recently posted….A New Canvas For A New Beginning
Sue Price says
Hi Gladys
I think most of us resist some changes – mainly the ones we did not want to have happen. Having lost both of your parents you totally understand. It is great to hear you knew how to be at peace. It is what we all need to do of course but many people seem to never know peace.
I had a friend die about 10 years ago. He was early 50’s and one of my closest friends. My daughter, who was a teenager at the time, brought me the book called The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying and that changed how I saw death. To the Tibetans they really do embrace death and celebrate the life of the person who passes. I think we struggle so much more in our western culture. Maybe it is our need to control?
As I said to Harleena it is not an option for my mother to come here. She has a very weak heart and other complications and is in high care. I am not sure she could travel. I sometimes think we should move back closer.
Ah I love what you say each morning. It does set the scene for a good day and yes gratitude is so important.
I too love Rocky. Finding this clip I thought I must get the movie and watch it again.
Thanks for your awesome comment Gladys. I appreciate it.
Have a wonderful day
Sue
Silviu says
Hi Sue,
Beautiful family photo.
I think I understand your mother. My mother lost her husband (my father) after 40 years of marriage. Since then she has become a TV fan. She watches TV all day long. When you watch TV, you feel the need to eat something so she eats. Eating without movement makes you fat. When you are fat it is more difficult to move. At some point in time you won’t feel the need to move anymore and so on.
She refuses to adopt a dog or a cat (this would save her life) and lives in her TV world. I hate TV.
Gratitude at the need of the day? Yes. It seems a good idea.
Let the day go. I think this is the best of the best. Let the day go and don’t carry the burden with you into the night and into the next day.
Have a nice day
Sue Price says
Hi Silviu
Thank you for the compliment on the photo. It was the last time I was with both my parents together. Next time I saw them they were in hospitals. So this photo will be my last happy memory with them together.
Wow you mother is not traveling so well either. I get that cycle – well I see people do it but it is one I do hope I never get into. Having been an exercise addict most of my life and watching what I eat. Not to mention I barely watch TV 🙂 (I am like you hate it mostly). But I get it happens. It must be difficult for you to see her like this.
Yes a pet would be great for her. Maybe a dog best so she would have to walk it. I see so many people where I live that have lost a partner with their beloved dogs out walking them. As you say it saves lives.
I agree with the letting the day go. Wow I think about when I was younger and I would lie away replaying the day in my mind. Crazy!
Thanks for your comment Silviu.
You too have nice day.
Sue
Arleen says
We can say that change is like death and taxes they are inevitable. Getting older is not very much fun if you don’t look at life as a gift. Every day I get up I look at the day as an opportunity. I could understand when I was younger why my mother went back to college. I think she took every course that the college offered, but it kept her mind active and she was able converse on any level. My dad retired as a doctor but worked on all types of investments and went to an office everyday until he died.
We all have to accept Change. Our bodies will let you know even if your mind doesn’t, but the best advice I can offer is not let your mind stagnant and get up and move. No more says you have to run a marathon but keeping the mind active so it doesn’t atrophy and the moving the body helps with the endorphins in the brain.
Sue Price says
Hi Arleen
Yes change is iniviatble. I used to say the death and taxes thing at seminars in my days working in the financial world. Having started out as CPA specializing in tax it was what I was teaching.
That is a great way to switch getting older – to look at life as a gift. I hear friends complain about getting older and I sometimes ask if they want the alternative- dying young is not what i ever wanted to do.
That is awesome your mother went back to college. I love it when people keep active and keep their mind working.
I agree we need to use our mind and our bodies. I have always exercised and I intend to keep that going.
Thanks for sharing here Arleen.
Sue
Sonia says
Change can be an ugly word to people that fight it. Life happens and you have no choice but to change. Change has happened to me allot over the last 13 months and some were not good at all. I could have handled things poorly, but I knew no matter what changes had come my way, that life goes on. You can either roll over and die, or make it happen. I don’t have time to go on and on about something I can’t change, but I can embrace the lessons learned from it.
Sue Price says
Hi Sonia
I think fighting change is probably what makes is so painful for many people. And yes life happens.
I had seen your mention you had things happen in the last year or so and recently lost your beloved kitty. I lost my dog who was almost 17 about 10 months ago and that was the saddest thing. I still miss her so much.
It sometimes seems like we go through several more difficult things in a row and it could be that we cave but we have choice.
Thanks for your comment Sonia and you take care.
Sue
Manny says
We need change in order to improve something. This is applicable in every aspect of our lives. On the other hand, some people are still resisting due to their accustomed ways and traditions. Resisting is the main problem why we cannot accept change. Another great post Sue. Thanks for sharing. 🙂
Sue Price says
Hi Manny
Yes we do need change and yes resistance prohibits that change being accepted. I find the changes like the loss of a loved one the hardest. Even my dog last year was difficult. Changing careers and where I live it much easier for me.
Thanks for your comment and feedback Manny. I appreciate it.
Have a great day.
Sue
Viola Tam says
Hi Sue,
What a wonderful message! Change is the only CONSTANT factor in life! This means that how we are able to handle ‘disastrous’ changes does make a huge difference in our lives.
You are right about your mum’s lacking certain skills to cope with change. Isn’t that wonderful that you have found such an empowering group to hang out?
Thank you for sharing Jessica’s tips of “Name the miracle of the day”. Much has been talked about gratitude and letting on of the past, this miracle thing would be a wonderful ritual to establish!
I am in Network Marketing. I can certainly testify that this profession changes lived! Mine included! I have changed from an ‘ordinary’ stay-at-home to a network marketing professional who is on purpose. My mission is to empower other women to take control of their own financial future.
Beautiful photo and message, Sue! Thanks!
Viola Tam – The Business Mum
Sue Price says
Hi Viola
I am glad you enjoyed this message Viola. You are so right when you say change is the only constant. It is an it is not always welcome when it is opposed upon us.
Yes it is wonderful that I have found an empowering group and I also feel blessed that I found personal development. I feel that I have learned to work through what ever happens in my life. Of course some are more difficult than others.
Oh yes I love that miracle of the day. My husband and I have been doing it each night and sure enough I now have my attention on it through the day. This morning I walked over at the beach. The ocean was like a pond and the light on it amazing. People were swimming in winter and it really felt like a miracle to me.
You have an awesome mission Viola and one that is so important. It really does need to be about more than ourselves. It is the only thing that will keep us going.
Thanks for the nice comment about the photo. As I said to someone else here it was the last time I saw my parents together and still in the home I grew up in. It is therefore very special to me.
Thanks for your comment Viola. Have a lovely weekend.
Sue
Dee Ann Rice says
Sue,
I recognize Mom spelled Mum. My kids call me Mum and write Mum as they have all been to Australia and picked it up there.
I think change is most always hard. We naturally do not like change. That is actually what keeps most of us from being successful. We like where we are comfortable even if it means not being successful.
For me most change is hard but moving is fun. I love to move. It is like an adventure. I just don’t want to be the one left behind.
Learning to cope with change will make life easier and more successful.
Thanks
Dee Ann
Sue Price says
Hi Dee Ann
Ah cool your kids use the Australian spelling for Mum.
You are right that most of us resist change and we do like to stay in our comfort zone. I am glad you like to move too. There are many people who do not and would not. Personally I feel like they are really missing out.
For me it is the changes I do not want that are out of our control that get me most. But the crazy thing there is that we cannot do anything about them anyway. My favorite quote is one that I have needed as a mantra really ” God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can;and wisdom to know the difference”
–Reinhold Niebuhr
Thanks for your comment Dee Ann. Have a great week.
Sue
Lisa says
Sue, I’m sorry about your dad’s passing. I can’t imagine how it will be for my folks who have been married 65 years this past May. I don’t know if they will be accepting of it or not. Change is hard for many people. I think those that can cope better with changes may live longer and have more fuller lives. Life is always full of changes whether or not we accept them. Sometimes they are changes for the better and they are easier to embrace, but some are much harder like dealing with death. Will your mum be reading this one Sue? I hope she feels inspired to try to move on a little and try to enjoy something in the near future.
Sue Price says
Hi Lisa
Wow your parents have been married as long as mine were. I have not heard of too many people having such long marriages. I hope your parents are together for some more time but as they grew older we know their time is limited. I know for me I just wanted them to be happy. Do you parents still live independently?
I agree I think people who can adjust to change more readily have a fuller life.
No my Mum will not read this. She does not have a computer even though we tried to talk her into one. Having said that my brother often takes his iPad into where she is living to show her things. She shows little interest in things these days though.
Thanks for your comment Lisa and have a great week.
Sue
Sherman Smith says
Hey Sue,
I’m sorry to hear about your dad passing. It must be really painful for your mom now and I can understand what she is going through.
I think the one thing the average human keep missing is life itself. We keep our focus on one thing or even one person and do not give life notice. We should definitely open our eyes more, and the one thing you mentioned in the tips is Gratitude!
Gratitude will open your mind more. You start to appreciate the little things that are around us that goes unnoticed. It’s weird how you think you’re familiar with for example places after going there for so many years, but yet when you become more grateful and open, you start to notice those little things you never noticed before.
I believe that’s one purpose of change! To get you to really notice those things outside of you and even those things internally, but you have to be willing to notice them.
Thanks for sharing Sue and nice photos of you and your parents!
Sue Price says
Hi Sherman
As sad as it was when dad passed it was the best thing for him as his quality of life was gone. Yes it must be very difficult for mum given the length of time they had together.
I agree with you that we miss life itself. I think John Lennon said it so well in that song Beautiful Boy “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” – isn’t that the truth!
Yes gratitude does make us notice more of the things we take for granted and deeps our appreciation.
I agree with you that change does encourage us to look outside of ourselves and to notice more. Sometimes for me too change makes me stand back and ask myself why I am doing a certain thing. It causes me to reevaluate what is important to me.
Thanks for your compliment on the photo and for your comment Sherman. You have great week.
Sue
Adrienne says
Hi Sue,
Well, you definitely know I can relate to this topic. Change is inevitable whether we like it or not but it’s something that we have to accept and just move on.
As you know I’m still going through the grieving part. I know you probably still are after the loss of your Dad too. It’s only been 28 days today since my best friend passed away and I’m still having a hard time believing it. Every time I go to my Mom’s I look to see if he’s sitting outside in his chair. He use to talk on the phone out there and when he saw me he would pop his head up and ask me what I was doing. I haven’t gotten out of that habit nor waiting for him to come home from work. He would wave to me and sometimes he was eager to tell me some scoop about what happened during his day. I haven’t taken his phone number out of my speed dial or deleted him from my contacts. Gosh, that just seems so permanent and I guess I’m just not ready to wipe him from my existence yet.
Change, we have to learn to move on though right! I know time helps, it’s been 10 years since my Dad passed away and trust me, time was the only thing that made it easier not reliving that loss. I know it will be the same for Scott but it’s still too fresh.
I’m so sorry about your Mom but she sounds like what happened to my grandmother after my granddad passed away. They died within three months of each other and there wasn’t anything wrong with my grandmother. We all believe she died from a broken heart. Who are we to say how they should go on or how they should feel after they’ve lost someone they’ve spent their entire lives with. I can’t imagine.
I do start my day with gratitude and I do end my day with gratitude. It really does help me appreciate everything that I have and what God has blessed me with. Life isn’t perfect and things happen but we all just need to appreciate where we are, who we have in our lives, what we have and just thank God every single day for that. It really does make a big difference with your overall attitude and the things that continue to come into your lives.
Thank you for this message Sue and your group sounds wonderful. Just a bit of inspiration that everyone needs.
Hope you had a wonderful weekend and here’s to another great week.
~Adrienne
Sue Price says
Hi Adrienne
I knew you of all people would relate to this post.
I think the fact you lived next to Scott is making it more difficult. If he had lived miles away it would not be in your face so much. It was the same when I lost my dog Nirvana last year. I would see her everywhere for months. Even now almost 11 months on I still turn around expecting to see her where she used to lie in my office. I am sure you were the same when you lost Blake too.
I am like you have Dad’s phone number in my contacts. I even have the landline from the home I grew up in. It is funny as if that is going to being anyone back but there we go.
I always thought my parents would be like your grandparents and go quickly after each other. Time will tell but to me it as if mum does not want to be here anymore.
Gratitude does really help doesn’t it? I have started my day with it for sometime but not finished with it and that is a great thing to do. I am really enjoying the searching for the miracle and it is putting my attention on looking for the good all the time.
Life is an interesting journey and we are all thrown our share of heartaches along the way.
You take care of yourself Adrienne and I hope the week is a better one for you.
Sue
Pramod says
Hi Sue !
I felt sad to read this post of yours . My grandmother is going through a same situation as your mother .My grandfather was diagnosed with terminal cancer of the stomach and withing 2 weeks of diagnostics , he passed away . My Grandmother is still in a state of shock as this incident happened too fast .Though , there are little kids in the house with whom she could spend time , the memories of my grand father keeps her eyes moist all the time .Its very hard to divert the attention of the person who lost his/hers beloved !
-Pramod
Sue Price says
Hi Pramod
So you relate very well. I am sorry to hear of your grandparents. That is very quick for your grandfather to have passed away so soon after a diagnoses. I think that is very difficult when it is such a shock. I feel for your grandmother. My mother had many years after my dad had his first stroke and he deteriorated over years.
It is sad to hear even the small children cannot ease her sadness. Yes for anyone losing their beloved is very difficult.
Thanks for sharing here Pramod. I appreciate it.
Sue
Susan Velez says
Sorry to hear about your mother, I know that has to be hard to watch. I can’t imagine being with someone for 65 years and then one day they are gone. It must be extremely difficult.
I’m glad that you surround yourself with groups of people who are inspirational and show support. It is always great to be around people who are positive.
I also wake up show gratitude for everything in my life. Although I have to admit that it can be more difficult to do, especially if I am going through a tough time in my life.
Very inspiring post…makes me realize that I definitely should be more grateful for everything in my life. I also need to make a point to end my day with being grateful.
Thanks for sharing this with us.
Sue Price says
Hi Susan
I am sure it is difficult for my mother. As my parents aged I knew which ever one was left behind would have difficult time.
It is good for us to surround ourselves with people who support us and inspire us. I have always liked to do that.
I agree with you that being grateful is more difficult when we are going through difficulties but if we can find things to be grateful for it also helps us through those times.
Thanks for your comment Susan and enjoy your week.
Sue
Barbara Charles says
Nice Sue. Yes I do give thanks everyday. It’s so easy to get involved in our busy day that we forget to say thanks. I’ve got it in my phone where I get ‘dinged’ 4 times a day to remind me to say thank you. Moving on is so important, even day to day. Not hanging on to the remnants of the past day. I’m struggling with that right now. Some days are better than others and some things are sometimes harder to let go. I think it is a struggle everyday. But your tips at the end are good things for us to remember to do. Thanks for reminding us and helping us to remember what we need to do.
Thanks so much,
Barbara
Sue Price says
Hi Barbara
You have shared before how you have your phone set to remind you. That is awesome and I had forgotten you do that. Thanks for another great tip. You are right it is so easy to get caught up in the day and forget to say thanks otherwise.
Yes some things are harder to let go of for sure but we need to and we need to move on.
Try the miracle of the day one – that is a bit of a challenge for me but I can usually find one.
Thanks for your comment Barbara.
See you tomorrow.
Sue
Sonia says
Something I needed for sure. After the loss of my Cat, I felt like a failure for what happened to her; when I knew it was out of my hands. I filmed her last moments on my cell phone and haven’t had the heart to watch it. Most of it being guilt for putting her down, but I didn’t want to see her suffer anymore.
The aftermath has been seeing images of her in my mind coming out of the room or doing the funny things that made me laugh. We still do things for her out of habit like leaving water in the bathroom sink because its so tough to let go. Maybe its just my way of dealing with it and sooner or later, I will be ok.
I’d like to think that I have always been adaptive to change, but I wasn’t ready for that. The past year has been a roller coaster, but taught me alot of lessons that I can one day share with others. I would love to be a part of that hangout and I so appreciate you sharing it with us. I remember conversations about your parents and its nice getting to know you more. Thanks Sue.
Sue Price says
Hi Sonia
Oh I so know how you feel with your cat. I have been through it with my cat several years ago and then my dog last year. In both cases we made the same decision as you. When my dad died a few months ago and watching him struggle in his last days I started to think we are actually kinder to our pets than human beings. Seeing someone or a pet you love with no quality of life and suffering is horrible. You know you did the right thing.
Oh yes you will see her and remember her for quite a time to come. It is 11 months since my dog went to doggie heaven and I still sometimes think she is i my office. I miss her so much. Over time it does get easier but you will always remember her. The nice part is one day you will smile at the nice memories rather than the horrid ending being so vivid.
It seems we both had up and down years and similar things happening Sonia. I too thought I was good at adapting to change but losing a pet and then my dad not so long after were changes I was not ready for either.
Thanks for sharing here Sonia and likewise it is nice to get to know you more. If you want me to add you to the Facebook group for the women’s one let me know.
Have a nice weekend and take care of you.
Sue
William Butler says
Hi Sue,
Thank you for sharing more about yourself and your experiences.
As a creative challenge, I have made many acronyms that mirror or mimic the definition
of the word. You can see a few examples in my post, A-Z of Acronyms To Inspire You
http://ow.ly/ouo7k.
CHANGE means … Courage Having A New Goal Emerge.
CHANGE means… Cultivating Habits Allows New Growth Experience
Hope this is helpful to your readership.
Kind Regards,
Bill
Sue Price says
Hi Bill
I love your acronyms. I had a quick look over at your post. Awesome examples. I love the two you have shared here. For me cultivating habits is especially important. If we want change or different results it generally means changing our habits.
Change is such a bit topic really and encompasses many facets.
Thanks for sharing here Bill.
Sue
Gary Boardman says
Hey Sue,
This post is wonderful as no matter who you are you will always have to adapt to events that occur in your life and new things that shape us.
I like sonia’s quote that change is an ugly word to people who fight it.
We must accept these changes and embrace the new opportunities that they bring us even if the event can be upsetting at first.
I am definitely going to try Jessica’s ritual as it is a way of appreciating the opportunities of today to attract more of the same tomorrow.
Thank you for sharing this post with us.
Onward And Upwards To success
Gary
Sue Price says
Hi Gary
Yes we all do have to adapt to change in our life. I too loved how Sonia put that. There are so many people who resist change and make themselves miserable.
Jessica’s ritual is an excellent one. I like the looking for miracle part as I have noticed since I have been doing that one I see there are miracles in my day every day.
Gratitude is so powerful.
Onward and upward to you to Gary. Thanks for visiting me and adding to the conversation.
Sue
Mayura says
Hi Sue,
I’m sorry for being late to stop by here, and catch up with your series dear…
I knew about your dad, but I’m very sorry to hear about your mum now and what she’s going through dear. I believe it’s not the whole story, ’cause it’s deep rooted in her heart.
Naturally, I tend to express gratitude, but mostly I love to feel it from my heart 🙂 I find letting things go is bit easier for me and my parents do feel it shouldn’t. Well, society thinks so too. Anyway, my past experiences made me feel that way and I’m truly grateful 🙂
It’s nice to read what Jessica was following each night dear 🙂 That’s wonderful. I bet that makes her feel better too. If your mom knew that, she might tend to accept the change in a better way without refusing to move forward.
I think your mum going through a really, really and really tough time. Even we mastered all the skills, I feel it’s harder to escape from that 🙂 Like we all know what’s the best thing to do, but still we don’t.
You know, missing soulmate’s presence is something we try to feel a bit. But I don’t think we can understand it, until we miss ours 🙂 I have no idea. Even a bit. ‘Cause I’m lucky to surround with most of loved ones yet. May be, it depends on how much you were dependent on your loved one’s presence.
In here, most of widows / widowers are tend to be religious though Sue. Anyway, it takes time. Sometimes, more than a year. Fortunately, many parents live with their children, so I believe it helps them too. May be not children exactly, but grandchildren. I see that 🙂
But I know that they are bit stubborn (Not sure if it’s the right word to say) and they don’t wanna be a pain for their children’s lives. They even insist too. We all do sacrifices, eh? I think they try to do the same thing, even they are vulnerable.
However, being alone is worst when their strong feelings tend to fade away Sue. Yet, they may not even take any effort to change it. But a very single thing can lighten up their life. Something we never thought that would.
I saw children (Elders) trying to push it so hard and trying to impress them with the intention to lighten up their life. It made parents to push away from children’s lives. They start to think children just don’t understand ’em.
I believe children need to be so patient with it and give enough room. But waiting for them to come with a solution can be a worst idea. Everyone is not that strong.
It’s lovely when I see some children sneak into their parents’ lives very slowly and feel them that they are not alone, even they can’t feel living without the person they loved mostly.
As I write, it reminds me of the movie “Gran Torino” 🙂
It’s just my thoughts coming from what I saw and experienced Sue 🙂 Just as a kid. Still spending time with elders who lost their loved ones, and they just love to recall the memories. Same thing over and over. Honestly, Kinda boring sometimes, but I know that it makes them feel better 🙂
You know the best and I believe you will be the light for your mom Sue 🙂 I know you will!
You have a lovely weekend dear 🙂
Cheers…
Sue Price says
Hi Mayura
Ah never apologize for not coming here Mayura as we are all busy. Having said that though thank you for now commenting on all of these posts. I appreciate that very much.
Jessica’s ritual is a good one. I particularly liked the “find the miracle of the day”. I have been doing that and it is amazing how much our attention goes to to look for them. I am like you and naturally a grateful person. I sometimes find myself grumbling over silly things like the weather and I remind myself of all that I do have.
Yes is is difficult for Mum for sure and having been together for so long I cannot imagine what it is like. My parents were very dependent on each other and I always knew it would be difficult for the one left behind. If Mum had not fallen and broken her hip she may be able to have a better life now. I always hoped she would be able to come and stay with me for some of the time. But that seems it will not be now.
It is great that in your country so many people take care of their elderly. It happens a little here but not so much. Stubborn is a good word to describe what you were saying. The same here my parents used to say they would never live with us as they did not want to be burden. That is a typical Australian attitude.
Ah I loved that movie Gran Torino. I saw an interview with Clint Eastwood just before it was released and he said he was pretty much playing himself as he had become a grumpy old man. I am not sure if that is the truth but it is what he said. I loved that the boy ended up with the car and the dog 🙂
Thanks for sharing your thoughts here Mayura. I appreciate you.
Have an excellent week.
Sue
fashion Tips says
I think I understand your mother. My mother lost her husband (my father) after 40 years of marriage. Since then she has become a TV fan. She watches TV all day long. When you watch TV, you feel the need to eat something so she eats. Eating without movement makes you fat. When you are fat it is more difficult to move. At some point in time you won’t feel the need to move anymore and so on.
Sue Price says
I am sorry I do not know your name to call you by.
I guess by watching TV all the time your mother distracts herself and does not think about the pain of losing your father. Eating with it is not a good cycle to be in! And yes that one is a vicious cycle.
Thanks for your comment
Sue