The loss of a loved one, a relationship break-up, losing your job or business, financial stress, illness…. hard times come in many ways throughout our life and they happen to us all.
I have a belief that it is how we get through these hard times that later defines us.
Getting through hard times – The catalyst for this post.
This post is a result of a conversation I had with a friend yesterday. Someone who I had not spoken to for a couple of years and who has been through what could look like more than his share of tough times.
Let’s call him J.
He has been through a marriage break down which resulted in some financial pressure (to say the least).
He is moving on and has some great things happening in his life.
Given my husband and I went though the loss of a business some years back , J and I got into talking about getting through hard times and strategies to do that.
Before we get into tips to help us get through hard times let’s talk about what not to do
## Do not get into the trap of “if only”
I remember being a young girl (maybe 9 or 10) and a neighbor saying to me when I said “if” about something…. “If is a little word with a big meaning that you should not say”. Now as a kid I did not have a clue what she meant but I have never forgotten that conversation. I now understand.
Going down a rabbit warren of “if only I had done — or had not done—- or should have done” is not going to help you move on. It will keep you stuck and put you in victim mode.
## Do not feel sorry for yourself
– well for more than a few minutes anyway.:-) You just have to plan ahead and look to the future.
## Do not wish you were like your friends who are not experiencing your pain.
The grass is not always greener on the other side. You do not know what someone else is going through even though they may be richer or appear more successful. I have learned that one big time.
## do not hangout with negative people who play the victim role in life.
This is not going to help you stay positive and move forward.
Things that help to get through tough times
## Know this time will pass you will have good times again.
## Look at your options – choose a path of moving forward and take action
## Listen to a daily uplifting audio, or watch a motivational video (YouTube is full of them)
## Read positive self-help books …. again there are so many to choose from.
## Surround yourself with people that support you.
## Seek professional help if you cannot get yourself moving forward. Again there is so much to choose from. Here are some I have experienced Counselors, life coaches, spiritual healers, kinesiologists and various other body work.
## Be grateful for what you do have in your life and put your attention on that.
And always remember your circumstances do not define you!
I was going to shoot a video to put include in this post but then came across this one today.
I think Jim Carey says it better than I could have. This sums up beautifully what my friend and I were talking about yesterday.
Here are some other successful people who have faced adversity.
>>>JK Rowling was a single mother living on state benefits before becoming the multimillionaire she is today.
>>>Oprah Winfrey of course is a story we all know. From her troubled abusive childhood to being the planet’s first African American billionaire
>>>Nelson Mandela’s life is one that shows just how resilient the human spirit really is. I love the quote by him “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear”
>>>Thomas Edison failed 1000 times before creating the light bulb. It is how he framed it that is most important here “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
A Supportive Network
I am an affiliate for a company that is home to many people who have overcome tough times. It is part of their vision and reason for being to lift people up, to believe in people so they can believe I themselves again. If you would like to check it out you can do that here.
Please leave me your comments below on getting through hard times. Do you have any other tips?
Make it a great day.