Getting Through Hard Times

Hard times tough times happen to us all. So how do you get through these times?   Hard Times

The loss of a loved one, a relationship break-up, losing your job or business, financial stress, illness….  hard times come in many ways throughout our life and they happen to us all.

I have a belief that it is how we get through these hard times that later defines us.

Getting through hard times – The catalyst for this post.

This post is a result of a conversation I had with a friend yesterday. Someone who I had not spoken to for a couple of years and who has been through what could look like more than his share of tough times.

Let’s call him J.

He has been through a marriage break down which resulted in some financial pressure (to say the least).

He is moving on and has some great things happening in his life.

Given  my husband and I went though the loss of a business some years back , J and I got into talking about getting through hard times and strategies to do that.

Before we get into tips to help us get through hard times let’s talk about what not to do

##  Do not get into the trap of “if only

I remember being a young girl (maybe 9 or 10) and a neighbor saying to me when I said “if” about something…. “If is a little word with a big meaning that you should not say”.  Now as a kid I did not have a clue what she meant but I have never forgotten that conversation. I now understand.

Going down a rabbit warren of “if only I had done — or had not done—- or should have done” is not going to help you move on. It will keep you stuck and put you in victim mode.

## Do not feel sorry for yourself

– well for more than a few minutes anyway.:-)  You just have to plan ahead and look to the future.

## Do not wish you were like your friends who are not experiencing your pain.

The grass is not always greener on the other side. You do not know what someone else is going through even though they may be richer or appear more successful.  I have learned that one big time.

## do not hangout with negative people who play the victim role in life.

This is not going to help you stay positive and move forward.

Things that help to get through tough times

## Know this time will pass  you will have good times again.

## Look at your options – choose a path of moving forward and take action

## Listen to a daily uplifting audio, or watch a motivational video (YouTube is full of them)

## Read positive self-help books …. again there are so many to choose from.

## Surround yourself with people that support you.

## Seek professional help if you cannot get yourself moving forward.  Again there is so much to choose from. Here are some I have experienced Counselors, life coaches, spiritual healers, kinesiologists  and various other body work.

## Be grateful for what you do have in your life and put your attention on that.

And always remember your circumstances do not define you!

I was going to shoot a video to put include in  this post but then came across this one today.

I think Jim Carey says it better than I could have.  This sums up beautifully what my friend and I were talking about yesterday.

 

Here are some other successful people who have faced adversity.

>>>JK Rowling was a single mother living on state benefits before becoming the multimillionaire she is today.

>>>Oprah Winfrey of course is a story we all know. From her troubled abusive childhood to being the planet’s first African American billionaire

>>>Nelson Mandela’s life is one that shows just how resilient the human spirit really is. I love the quote by him   “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear”

>>>Thomas Edison failed 1000 times before creating the light bulb.  It is how he framed it that is most important here “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

 A Supportive Network

I am an affiliate for a company that is home to many people who have overcome tough times. It is part of their vision and reason for being to lift people up, to believe in people so they can believe I themselves again. If you would like to check it out you can do that here.

Please leave me your comments below on getting through hard times. Do you have any other tips?

Make it a great day.

SuejPrice.com

 

 

 

 

 

Sue Price

Skype: sueprice

PS

Click here to work with me personally

{ 28 comments… add one }

  • donna merrill June 13, 2014, 1:24 AM

    Hi Sue,

    Awesome wise words of wisdom you have given here! We all go through “Hard Times” in our life. It is getting over them that makes us stronger and feel good about ourselves.

    I always cringe on the “if only’s” when someone says that. My gosh that’s like building a huge wall around preventing one to grow. It is a choice people make to stand still in misery. Oh I’ve seen that in people who feel sorry for themselves and never get the chance to step forward from an unpleasant situation. It looks like they are suspended in space to me.

    I gotta say that when I look back at the worst times in my life, I was inspired to turn the corner and do something else that lead to excellence. It could be within my SELF, or business.

    The primary key is to step forward and just do it!

    Thank you for this wonderful post Sue,

    -Donna
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    • Sue Price June 13, 2014, 6:09 PM

      Hi Donna

      I know enough about you to turn you must have gone through tough times more than once.

      I hear you feel like me about the “of only’s” and I love the way you put it that people then are “suspended in space” – such a great description. It is really throwing a bit pity party isn’t it?

      Yes we all go thought hard times and some of us move on and flourish and others never do. I really hope this post inspires people to move on.

      Thanks for our comment here Donna. Have a lovely weekend.

      Sue

  • Lisa June 13, 2014, 2:41 AM

    Sue, I’d add exercise / yoga to the list. Those always help us to be in better moods and we certainly need that through the tough times of our lives.
    I so agree with you on staying away from negative people, they can really drain you when you are in “good” times never mind the tough times.
    I love looking through quotes too to help lift my spirits and know I’m not alone in those “tough” times of our lives.
    Thanks for sharing Sue!
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    • Sue Price June 13, 2014, 6:12 PM

      Hi Lisa

      Oh thanks for your additions and funnily enough I do exercise every day and I do yoga :-) And they are something I always turn to so not sure how I missed them. Thank you!

      I think we all know there is help and ways through these times and most of us find our way. Sadly some do not.

      Thanks Lisa for your thoughts here.

      Enjoy your weekend.

      Sue

  • Lorraine Reguly June 13, 2014, 4:24 AM

    Sue, I agree with your tips about surrounding yourself with positive people and a supportive network. Others, once they know of your difficult situation, can HELP.

    I still find myself stuck in the “if only” stages, though. I often wish I would have known some coping strategies after I was raped. But I kept silent about it for years, and suffered tremendously as a result.

    Thankfully, I’m in a better place now.

    Good post.

    • Sue Price June 13, 2014, 6:16 PM

      Hi Lorraine

      Oh wow I did not know you had been raped. Now I am sure I would go into “if only’s” around that one. Silence about any great trauma in our life does result in suffering so glad you worked your way though it. That is not one many people would breeze through.

      Thanks for your comment and have a nice weekend Lorraine.

      Sue

  • Adrienne
    Twitter:
    June 13, 2014, 5:51 AM

    Hi Sue,

    I hate that your friend has been going through some tough times. I hate that anyone has to really but I remember reading one of my morning inspirational messages and it said that life is going to happen and problems are going to arise. Just know that now but it’s how you get through those that will make you a better person.

    I also agree to not hang around with negative people because although they may feel like they are helping you by sharing how worse off their life is, they are only dragging you down deeper.

    I was listening to yet another Abraham video and I remember some guy saying that he was sick of people telling him to stay positive because that kind of thinking isn’t helping him at all. Abraham nicely said, “well how many people who were thinking negatively manifested good things in their lives”? We all know it takes more then just staying positive but you won’t accomplish anything thinking the other way.

    I loved Jim Carey’s message, thank you for sharing that with us. He’s right of course and once again, he’s living proof. We all will eventually “get through it” and the steps you’ve shared are extremely helpful.

    Hope you’re doing well Sue and have a great weekend.

    ~Adrienne

    ~Adrienne
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    • Sue Price June 13, 2014, 6:26 PM

      Hi Adrienne

      I hate that my friend is going through this too. It is a very long story and one of those filled with drama but he is doing okay. I love you do your morning inspirational messages it so sets up our day in a better way. I do it sometimes but that is about to change to daily.

      Oh yes negative people in our lives are not good and especially the ones who are here to “help us”.

      I get the guy on the Abraham video saying people telling him to be positive is not helping. I think there is a time when people are going through stuff that can be too in their face. Example when your friend died last year I remember our Diamond group all telling you to be gentle with yourself and grieve. That is necessary. But there comes a time to move on like you did.

      I like the message that comes through often from Abraham saying just reach for better thoughts. I like the simplicity of that.

      I loved that Jim Carey message. I have seen many videos of his but this one was the most succinct.

      Thanks for your awesome comment Adrienne and you have a great weekend too.

      Sue

  • Arleen June 13, 2014, 8:40 AM

    I loved the video. I have to say I didn’t think Jim Carey had a serious side so I think that is what catches you attention and after you watch it, the video draws you in.

    I think it is important when hard times falls is not to say why me. I have had some real tough times, and health issues. I am a positive person and I say to myself, I will land on my feet. I have and I do. I see people get depressed and I ask what is that going to accomplished. I guess being bull headed and not let things get me down has helped me through adversities.
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    • Sue Price June 13, 2014, 6:28 PM

      Hi Arleen

      Yes it is different to see this side of Jim Carey for sure. I have seen a few of these videos now and there is clearly a deep side to him.

      It seems like being bull headed has served you well and is a much better strategy than being depressed as you say. That clearly goes no where.

      Thanks for your comment Arleen and have a nice weekend.

      Sue

  • Di June 13, 2014, 4:47 PM

    Great post Sue,
    Thankyou!

    Challenges and problems in life sometimes get in the way and often in a way that takes us off our daily track and diverts our thinking from our big picture to the problem and often smaller thinking and “darker” thinking.
    Often covering the “darker” thinking and feelings isn’t just about “get over it” and “move on” like some people imply and it isn’t about taking on the self pity with someones conversation that might lead to collusion and staying stuck.
    Like you are suggesting there are a combination of actions we can take and NEED to take that will, as Jim Carey suggests in your video, that will take us forward to being on track to take that chance of doing what we love to do. That track is often found by asking the universe for our answers. While those problems are in or every minute of our day I have to remember to listen for the answers rather than being continually being caught up in the problem.
    For me, listening to audios and supporting myself with clear and action taking type of people plus the big one of giving myself the time to move through the situation are all sooooo important to me.
    Great reminder Sue
    Thankyou and have a great day!!!!
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    • Sue Price June 13, 2014, 6:38 PM

      Hi Di

      You have described the way problems get us off track beautifully. There is definitely a balance between giving ourselves time to go through the “stuff” and moving on. Sometimes we need to grieve and need to feel sad. It is just when it lasts forever it is not so good:-).

      I just loved the Jim Carey message and the funny thing was I saw it just after having the conversation with my friend. Now that leads to your comment on listening to the Universe. It was seeing the video right after talking to J that I realized this was a message to share.

      Thanks for your great comment Di. Have a nice weekend and may if flow.

      Sue

  • Akaahan Terungwa June 13, 2014, 9:41 PM

    Hello Sue,

    “Tough times never last, but tough people do”. When I am faced with a tough situation, Iimmediately remember the quote and determine to be the ‘tough guy’ who will last.

    Secondly, I also love the fact that “the darkest hour is the one closest to dawn”. These two quotes usually lift me from the most embarrassing and humiliating of situations – all the time.

    Do have a great day, Sue.

    Always,
    Terungwa
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    • Sue Price June 14, 2014, 12:18 PM

      Hi Terungwa

      I love that quote thanks for sharing it here. A very good one to remember and remind ourselves when we need it.:-)

      And I also like the next one about the darkest hour. I have been seeing similar quotes all week. Good reminders for sure.

      You too have a nice day Terungwa

      Thanks for your comment and two great quotes.

      Sue

  • sherman smith June 14, 2014, 7:55 AM

    Hey Sue,

    Very well written post and you definitely put out a lot of wisdom! I have went through some tough times and found ways to get through them.

    I figure since I’m here, I might as well take advantage of all the opportunities that are there despite the fact that there maybe failures down the road. Knowledge of self is like life after death, so focusing on what I enjoy and growing from that shows how I can never be stopped. You figure out your passions as well as enjoy life more. I even look forward to failures because know I’m more open to learn what’s out there in the world.

    When I was teaching salsa, I use to tell my students to look forward to “messing up”. Why? Because you always tend to create new moves and combinations from messing up. You may come up with a signature move or astound others as well as yourself with these unprecendented moves!

    Yes there’s going to be failures out there, but fail with a smile because you can definitely learn and create from them!

    Thanks for sharing Sue!
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    • Sue Price June 14, 2014, 12:25 PM

      Hi Sherman

      I am sure you have been through some tough times too as we all have. It is part of life.

      Great advice to focus on what you enjoy. It sure beats dwelling on the other stuff. Wow so you even look forward to failures to learn. I have never thought of that before but what a great way to look at it. Of course as we learn new things that happens. In our online world many things we try do not work so we learn. Thanks for sharing that Sherman.

      And that is great advice to give your Salsa students. I had forgotten you used to do that. I bet you loved it.

      Thanks for your great insights here Sherman.

      Have a nice weekend.

      Sue

  • Sylviane Nuccio June 14, 2014, 9:50 AM

    Hi Sue,

    Very will said.

    In the past I’ve said “if” more than my share. There’s so many thing that I wished I had done differently, but this is really a snare. What’s done is done, and there’s nothing we can do about it. However, what we can do is turn our life around with the right information, tools and knowledge.

    So true what Jim Carrey says here; you can fail at doing what you don’t want, so how much better to at least try what you do want. It’s so sad when people do not follow their dream just because they don’t know any better.

    Thanks for speaking of this wonderful topic.
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    • Sue Price June 14, 2014, 12:29 PM

      Hi Sylviane

      Oh yes I have done the “if” thing too in the past but is is crazy thinking really. I think we can learn from what may have been better choices and use that in the future.

      I loved the Jim Carey message and yes we should all go for what we love. I know you have blogged about this topic of people not following their dreams before.

      Thanks for your comment here Sylviane and you have a great weekend.

      Sue

  • Gladys June 15, 2014, 10:40 AM

    Hello Ms.Sue
    I trust you are well.
    Excellent post and a must read for everyone.
    Just recently my son was in critical care for two weeks he just came out of the hospital a week ago. David is my youngest son and he is 33 years old. He has CHF and AFib. They had to put a double pace maker which took four hours long.
    Tough times but I am so grateful that he is alive.
    Our emotions get the best of us, but we can rest assure there is always a light in front of us to guide us.
    Thank you for the pearls of wisdom.

    Gladys
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    • Sue Price June 15, 2014, 1:52 PM

      Hi Gladys

      I am well thank you. I trust you are as well given the situations with you son. Wow that is o young to have a heart condition. I am glad he is out of hospital and hopefully the pace maker will help his condition. I am sure you needed to reach of any strategy you knew to get through that. I really think the life and death times with loved ones are some of the worst.

      Our emotions get the best of us all at times and even those of us who have done a lot of work on ourselves can feel overwhelmed. It is always nice to come through the other side.

      Thanks for your comment Gladys and I hope your son continues to better health.

      Have a nice week ahead.

      Sue

  • Dee Ann Rice June 20, 2014, 9:23 AM

    Sue,

    We all go through tough times and me all seem to make it out the other side. I think it is the path we travel to make it out and how we handle the the tough times that makes a difference.

    I love your list of “do nots”. Those are all things that we need not to do when we have tough times. They do not help us make any progress and just keep us down that much longer.

    I also love your list of “dos”. They are also really good. I think the thing that has helped me the most is to put blinders on and only look forward to the future. If I focus on the future then I am not looking back.

    Great post.

    Dee Ann
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    • Sue Price June 20, 2014, 2:10 PM

      Hi Dee Ann

      I agree we all go through tough times and yes it is how we handle them that makes the difference.

      Good on you being able to put blinders on and only look to the future. It is the very best thing we can do.

      Thanks for your comment here Dee Ann.

      Have a great weekend.

      Sue

  • Mitch Mitchell June 22, 2014, 4:50 PM

    Very well stated Sue. I like to say that, for most things, give yourself a few hours to get over a disappointment then work your way out of it. That doesn’t include catastrophic losses; those need to be dealt with on an individual basis. But for most things your recommendations are great.
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    • Sue Price June 24, 2014, 5:30 PM

      Hi Mitch

      I agree smaller disappointments can be dealt with much more quickly than big losses. This guy who was the catalyst for this post had more than small disappointments. I only mentioned the tip of the iceberg here. :-)

      Thanks for visiting my blog and for your comment Mitch.

      Have a good week.

      Sue

  • William Butler June 23, 2014, 10:46 AM

    Hi Sue,
    I think it’s especially important during tough times to redirect the focus of our energy and attention away from loss, negativity and depressive thoughts and on to the best possible outcome. We tend to forget that tough times are temporary. Everything changes, so it takes patience to ride the storms of life out.

    Yesterday, a 48 year old friend of mine had a massive heart attack, is now in an induced coma until tomorrow. The prognosis does not look good. I turn to prayer for things that are beyond my control.

    Kind Regards,
    Bill
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    • Sue Price June 24, 2014, 5:38 PM

      Hi Bill

      Great point that we tend to forget that tough times are temporary. When we are “in it” sometimes it is hard to think logically.

      So sorry to hear about your friend Bill – wow 48 is way to young to be in that position. Prayer is certainly the way to turn at times like that. There is no amount of physical action that you can do to change it only prayer. I hope things change for the better for your friend Bill.

      Thanks for your comment here. And my prayers for you and your friend.

      Sue

  • Sudipto July 9, 2014, 6:11 PM

    Hey Sue,
    Nice post and This post really gonna help many people. Everyone faces hard times but the important thing is our reaction in hard times. Positive attitude really helpful in hard times. Being surrounded by people that support us in very important and always try to avoid people with negative attitude. Thanks for sharing this post with us.
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    • Sue Price July 10, 2014, 6:27 PM

      Hi Sudipto

      Yes we do all go through hard times it is just part of life. Who we surround ourselves with is so important at these times.

      Thanks so much for your comment here Sudipto.

      Sue

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