If change is the only constant in life then why is it so many people resist it? It seems accepting change is very difficult for many people even though most of us know it is inevitable.
One of my favourite quotes is from The Serenity Prayer…..
“God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference” – Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)
The key is in the words and wisdom to know the difference.
Can you change it? If not then you must accept the change.
The idea for this post germinated when I was in the bank last week. I was taking some cash out of the ATM and could not help but hear a woman about my age protesting about having to use technology. .
The woman refused to use an ATM and insisted that someone on staff should give her cash over the counter like they used to do. The staff member trying to help her offered to teach her how to use an ATM but she continued to protest. She insisted she did not want to use technology. Her husband who appeared much older than her eventually was the one that said he would learn what to do.
Others in the bank, like me, were suppressing smiles and there were rolled eyes and sneaking smirks going on between customers. I was staggered at the woman’s refusal to embrace inevitable changes.
Change is the only constant – there have been many in my lifetime
Later I thought of the woman and I know she would have been through the same changes in communication and technology that I have.
Here are some of them that have happened in my life so far;
- I grew up without computers
- When I started working in an Accounting firm we added up hand written cash books with adding machines. 🙂
- My family did not have a telephone of any sort in the house until I was at high school and we used to go to a nearby telephone “box” to make calls
- My first phone outside of a land line was a “car phone” which was fitted into my car. In fact I think the phone was worth more than my car at the time
- My first mobile phone was like a brick in both size and weight
- When I was living in London and communicating with my family back home in Australia I did it by handwriting in a thing called an aerogram and posting it. It took weeks to arrive in Australia.
- and so the list goes on …
There is one thing I know for sure. I know there are many more changes to come as change is the only constant.
For me embracing changes in technology is easy. How could anyone not want to simply send an email or text message to someone rather than handwriting a long letter. Technology has totally changed the way we can communicate and live our lives.
Accepting change in other areas of our lives is not as easy as embracing technology.
How do we accept change when we are thrown one of life’s events like death of a loved one, illness, losing a job, bankruptcy or divorce? We are now looking at a whole new level of acceptance.
Change is the only constant- how to accept it
How do we accept change when one of these major life events happens?
#1 Accept that change is inevitable. Nature is a perfect example of the daily changes we witness. Accept that change is the only constant.
#2 Go to this part of the serenity prayer “to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference” Decide if you can change it or you need to accept it. Doing this is a great start as from here you can either work out how to change it or how you are going to accept it.
#3 If you know you cannot change whatever has happened but find it difficult to accept, then ask yourself why you are resisting. Allow yourself to feel the emotions.
#4 Draw on previous experiences. What have you been through before where change that you did not want happened? How did you get through that and what was the result. Drawing on experience is a great help.
#5 Look for the lesson in the life event. It is not always easy to see at the time. I know for me it is only in retrospect I often see the gift in adversity.
#6 Set some new goals. Look toward the future and know you will move on.
#7 Seek help. There are many life coaches and practitioners that can help you move forward. There are books, audios and other tools you can use to move to acceptance.
Do you accept that change is the only constant? So you have any other ways methods you use to accept change in your life? Let us know your thoughts by leaving a comment.
Have a good day.
Sue
Helen Lingard says
what a fantastic blog Sue.. and I remember the Aerogramme’s so well 🙂 I have been listening to Byrone Katie… Loving what is.. Very powerful 🙂
Sue Price says
Thank you Helen and I know you would remember the aerogramme 🙂 I think it took 6 weeks from the UK to Australia. I love Byrone Katie’s work.
Shaun Trewern says
Absolutely right Sue, change is the only constant. It’s the way the world works and evolves. Refusing to accept that fact is just plain silly. Embracing the change and finding the positives to it seems the best way forward to me. Your 7 steps are very well written too.
Sue Price says
I agree with you Shaun that is is silly to not accept things change but for some reason many people find it difficult. Thank you for your comment Shaun.
Barbara Monk says
Awesome blog post Sue!
And so so true!
A few months ago my
employer transfered a contract
of mine over to an agency….
Which is fine but, the second
contract was given over to that
Agency and they assumed control
of it….leaving me $2500 Canadian
dollars less income every month
so needless to say…that was a blow to the pocket book…lol
Anyway, the long and short of it….
I had to embrace the fact that I no
longer have this extra income and I
have to accept and adjust…..
It wasn’t easy at first…but, I did
Sue Price says
That is a perfect example Barbara of something happening that clearly you did not like but you are accepting and moving on. That is a big drop in income and I am sure you felt anger and a whole range of emotions and to accept it would be anything but easy.
Thanks for your comment.
Erica Udeanu says
You speak with such “knowing” Sue and it flows from every word in your post. I have to smile at the lady at the bank … parts of her resistance resonate with me when it comes to learning certain technologies … and I also recognize that to move forward I must … and will. But the image of her made me smile 🙂
And your comment about seeing the gift in adversity and moving on, that struck a chord too. When I look back over my life I’ve experienced many upheavals and wondered how I would ever cope, get through, or bounce back. But I always did somehow. And on the other side there was always something greater awaiting me.
It’s important to remember the tough times we’ve overcome and how they truly were a gift and a blessing.
Thank you for this exquisite reminder.
Hugs & Love!
e!
Sue Price says
Erica I think there is probably a part of the “lady in the bank” in all of us. If not in technology in some way. I too have not always been quick to embrace technology but have forced myself to and now I enjoy it. I am still no techie though.
I am sure you have had your share of upheavals or you would not be the amazing woman you are today. The upheavals make us better people if we learn from them
Thank you for your awesome comment Erica.
Hugs and love right back to you. Sue
David Fa'anunu says
I love how you brought back memories of a lot of the technologies in the past, funny how we all took the long roads compared to what we have at our disposal today in the same regards. Another great peice of writing Sue.
Sue Price says
I enjoyed thinking back over the old technologies and ways we did things David. It really did make me smile at how much things have changed. Thanks for your kind words.
Kathy Morrissey says
Great Blog Sue….Change to me is just life….Things change and in time we change with it or not.
Sue Price says
Change is just life Kathy and yes we either change with it or not as you say. Thanks for your comment.
Carol Makowski says
How interesting that you would choose this topic since I myself was contemplating our resistance to change this morning. Why do we want to be rooted in the past. Sure, there’s fear of the unknown, questioning our own capabilities, etc. Yet I have to wonder if there’s not more to it. At any rate, you put out some good ways to deal with change — I particularly liked 4 and 6 — draw from experience and set new goals. Thanks Sue.
Sue Price says
That is a great question Carol – why do we want to be rooted in the past? It makes no sense really and I suspect there is a lot to it.
Thanks for your comment and have a great week.
Amar kumar says
Hey Sue,
We sometimes find ourselves changing our minds without any resistance or heavy emotion, but if we are told that we are wrong we resent the imputation and harden our hearts. We are incredibly heedless in the formation of our beliefs, but find ourselves filled with an illicit passion for them when anyone proposes to rob us of their companionship. It is obviously not the ideas themselves that are dear to us, but our self-esteem, which is threatened. We are by nature stubbornly pledged to defend our own from attack, whether it be our person, our family, our property, or our opinion.
Change is here to stay, we can count on that. Many of us may not be as open to change, but we can do our best to understand what initiated it and, more importantly, how our role in the process has the potential to influence the accomplishment of organizational goals. Eventually, thanks for your interesting post.
With best wishes,
Amar kumar
Sue Price says
Hi Amar,
I agree with you that most of us do not like being told we are wrong and yes resistance then sets in. And yes we do defend our own from attack.
Change is here to stay and I think most people know and accept that but they still resist many changes. We are very interesting us human beings. 🙂
Thank you for your great comment.
I hope you are having a great week.
Sue